I'm Alive!!!!

   I've never been addicted to drugs, drinking or smoking, but a taste of withdraw was fully experienced the past couple of days. It started off with the cold that I acquired from M. Wednesday night I could feel the imminent cold symptoms, but I could not have envisioned how I would feel the coming days.
   Thursday morning I barely opened my eyes after a night of congestion. I was nauseous and needed to eat at least a little something in order to take my medication. My voice was horse and when J called he said I sounded 'specatular'. I felt as if I had ended a 10-day drinking binge. I felt horrid!! I got M breakfast and went to lie back down. If only a truck would come and run me over, preferably on my right side. The congestion was so bad that the pressure was not doing my head any favors. I was trembling and sweating. My mom called to check on me and I know she was at a loss for words on a home remedy. She said she would call later to see how I was doing.
    By this time I actually thought I was going to die. What was going on?!? I call Dr. K.G.and spoke with the same girl as always. I was sobbing and with my voice she could hardly understand me. "K" a new nurse called back to see what advice he could give. Once I told him how I felt he said I could go to the emergency room. I asked if Dr. K.G was working and if he could consult with him and call me back. K called back quickly and was much more sympathetic. He said that I was also going through withdrawal from stepping down on the Cymbalta along with a virus. I told him the 1st time 'I am not asking for any pain medication I have that', and 'I have Phenergren for the nausea'. I just wanted to know do I take something for the nausea 1st, then the cold and pain or cold 1st and then see if I can keep that down. He sounded apologetic, which all I want is relief. When he called back he said to take cold medication to relieve the pressure in my head first. The virus would last about 7-10 days and the 1st couple of days stepping down were detoxing. Then next week when I stop the Cymbalta all together would feel the same sickness, but hopefully the virus would be gone. I feel bad because I  was crying and what could he do? When I see the reality shows that have an individual coming off of heroin or crack. Yeah that's what it was like minus the lights & cameras.
   Friday wasn't much better but as my mom told me, I already got through one day and had to look at that as positive. So I made it though the 2nd day too. I still have cold symptoms but I got up and called S to see if she would want to plant some bulbs with me before it started raining. I know I will pay for it later, but I was only mildly nauseous and not as congested. My body was still aching and I used my energy planting but I was happy I didn't feel as if I was on my deathbed today.
   I must say that I may cry in pain some days, but I am lucky that it isn't everyday. And I am grateful to be me with all of the support I have!