I'm suffering from so much anxiety. How do I keep all of this together? Be a Loving And Supportive Wife & Mother, this all takes a lot. I knew at one time I could do it all. Four years seems like it flew by, but on the same hand it dddrraaaggggeeeeddd ssoooo ssssslllooooww.
J and I decided that I wasn't going back to see the Pain Doctor we saw on Saturday, that drained me out. I called the office on Monday morning and the sweet little receptionist was very understanding. She said that I didn't have to bring back the RX's, I could just shred them. I wanted to make it known that I wasn't going to fill them.
Another issue arose, I was running out of my pain meds. I called Walgreens and they had not gotten that prescription in, and they still don't know when. They had 10 days, worth but if they gave me that then I would have to forfeit the rest of the script. Dumb I know, but I guess that's the law. I called the old doctor and since they hadn't dismissed me (yet), they could give me a prescription. They gave me the the wrong RX the first time, and then I had to try to get a hold of them to get the correct one. I felt like they are doing this on purpose. The things that run to my mind. It's likes circle, round and round.
ATN
Wear Teal
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
Life is Ending or Slowly Getting There
I try to keep my family out of my posts but I had a Great Aunt pass away last night. So I must send my farewell to her. Then I have another close family member just hanging on...my thoughts are always with her.
I had a rough week, I thought I was getting the flu. I have been on 2 separate antibiotics in the past couple of weeks. Last week I thought I was in the worst shape. I called my Grandma crying, asking if she heard of anything to help. I already take 50,000 IU of Vitamin D a week, 1000mg of Vitamin C, Cultrelle, 50mg of Zinc. So I don't know what else I needed. I was nauseous, my body hurt, I have a temperature. I didn't think I could move without throwing up and I had to still go get M from school. So about 2:00pm I started to get up and took Airborne. I picked her up a little bit early so I didn't sit in the car and then have to go walk up and wait at her classroom door. On our way home we stopped at BK to get chicken nuggets. I wanted to make some Chicken Soup. That seemed to help a little. It took a few more days, actually today until I really felt better.
Yesterday we met with a new Pain Management Doctor. We arrived a few minutes early. The office stunk, but the girl in front was very nice. She gave me a New Patient Packet that seemed like it was 16 pages long. I like to fill out the packets at home, when I have time to write EVERYTHING down. They were running about an hour and a half behind. We go into the room and I'm not even kidding, it was so dirty. There was a huge stain on the rug. The paper in the table hadn't been pulled down and changed (there was still writing on it) & finally there was a dirty cup on the magazines.
He wouldn't let me speak, and when he did, he wasn't patient enough to let my mind make the words. I even tried to tell him that all of the medications made my mind mixed up. He also kept looking up to J, as if talking to him.
He said that I have to go see this Neurosurgeon here in Vegas. He said that the Surgeon who did the Sphenopalatine Ganglion Block(SPG) at Cedar Sinai missed. I was misdiagnosed. Wooh stop there! I went to Cedar Sinai because they are the best of the best in Trigeminal Neuralgia. He talked about putting a pain pump in my face. This was after they re-did the SPG Block. But he has the nerve to say that they did it wrong!?! After we left there we stopped to get something to eat and then home. Later I feel asleep for a couple of hours. That doctor visit drained me, I was upset. I can't redo all of that again.
I had a rough week, I thought I was getting the flu. I have been on 2 separate antibiotics in the past couple of weeks. Last week I thought I was in the worst shape. I called my Grandma crying, asking if she heard of anything to help. I already take 50,000 IU of Vitamin D a week, 1000mg of Vitamin C, Cultrelle, 50mg of Zinc. So I don't know what else I needed. I was nauseous, my body hurt, I have a temperature. I didn't think I could move without throwing up and I had to still go get M from school. So about 2:00pm I started to get up and took Airborne. I picked her up a little bit early so I didn't sit in the car and then have to go walk up and wait at her classroom door. On our way home we stopped at BK to get chicken nuggets. I wanted to make some Chicken Soup. That seemed to help a little. It took a few more days, actually today until I really felt better.
Yesterday we met with a new Pain Management Doctor. We arrived a few minutes early. The office stunk, but the girl in front was very nice. She gave me a New Patient Packet that seemed like it was 16 pages long. I like to fill out the packets at home, when I have time to write EVERYTHING down. They were running about an hour and a half behind. We go into the room and I'm not even kidding, it was so dirty. There was a huge stain on the rug. The paper in the table hadn't been pulled down and changed (there was still writing on it) & finally there was a dirty cup on the magazines.
He wouldn't let me speak, and when he did, he wasn't patient enough to let my mind make the words. I even tried to tell him that all of the medications made my mind mixed up. He also kept looking up to J, as if talking to him.
He said that I have to go see this Neurosurgeon here in Vegas. He said that the Surgeon who did the Sphenopalatine Ganglion Block(SPG) at Cedar Sinai missed. I was misdiagnosed. Wooh stop there! I went to Cedar Sinai because they are the best of the best in Trigeminal Neuralgia. He talked about putting a pain pump in my face. This was after they re-did the SPG Block. But he has the nerve to say that they did it wrong!?! After we left there we stopped to get something to eat and then home. Later I feel asleep for a couple of hours. That doctor visit drained me, I was upset. I can't redo all of that again.
Friday, January 3, 2014
The Red Robin Incident
It's been crap over the past couple of months. That's the nicest word I can say. I have been taking Anti-Viral medication since the end of October. I have just a couple of more weeks of it. I don't know what to do after that. My I.D. (Infectious Disease) Doctor is a weird guy, as they all are. I need to make an appointment. I have an appointment with the Neurologist, I'm not sure why or what will be talked about. Hummmm.
I was also given a huge dose of steroids from the I.D. Doc. It was too much, so coming down was like hell. I will call one time the 'Red Robin' incident. It was bad and it was because of Roid Rage.
Then there was the time I was in hospital, 2 times in six weeks. Once because I was having an allergic reaction. So that was just a ER visit. Then next time I was sitting in the living room and I started having chest pains. If I moved it hurt more. Within minutes J had his shoes and sweatshirt on, ready to go to the ER. I was screaming out in pain. They got me in right away and said I was not having a heart attack. That was good. We were there for almost 6 hours. They had no rooms, even for the the people in the ER waiting in the halls. I asked if they could transport me to another hospital, since I was needing to spend the night.
I have an appointment with Dr. R tomorrow. I hope he can help, since he gave me some anti-biotics a couple of weeks ago, he said I had a fever and I wasn't getting enough oxygen.
When someone says 'How are you feeling?', I wonder if they mean it. I feel like crap, I have to get through these days. I know that I have other much older family members that are on the verge of dying. They have lived their life fully and suffer at the very last. I feel very sad for their pain. I haven't lived my full life and suffer.
My eyes hurt and go blurry. I get nauseous and I'm tired all of the time. I don't enjoy too many things, I don't follow through and I have had thrush in my mouth forever. I wish I could scream and throw things, but what good would that do? I'm getting tired of swallowing all of my pills, but what are my options? If I don't take them then I suffer in pain for a couple of day after. Sometimes my left side of my face feels like it was rubbed with sandpaper. And I wonder who stabbed me in the ear, when it hurts much more than I admit.
I was also given a huge dose of steroids from the I.D. Doc. It was too much, so coming down was like hell. I will call one time the 'Red Robin' incident. It was bad and it was because of Roid Rage.
Then there was the time I was in hospital, 2 times in six weeks. Once because I was having an allergic reaction. So that was just a ER visit. Then next time I was sitting in the living room and I started having chest pains. If I moved it hurt more. Within minutes J had his shoes and sweatshirt on, ready to go to the ER. I was screaming out in pain. They got me in right away and said I was not having a heart attack. That was good. We were there for almost 6 hours. They had no rooms, even for the the people in the ER waiting in the halls. I asked if they could transport me to another hospital, since I was needing to spend the night.
I have an appointment with Dr. R tomorrow. I hope he can help, since he gave me some anti-biotics a couple of weeks ago, he said I had a fever and I wasn't getting enough oxygen.
When someone says 'How are you feeling?', I wonder if they mean it. I feel like crap, I have to get through these days. I know that I have other much older family members that are on the verge of dying. They have lived their life fully and suffer at the very last. I feel very sad for their pain. I haven't lived my full life and suffer.
My eyes hurt and go blurry. I get nauseous and I'm tired all of the time. I don't enjoy too many things, I don't follow through and I have had thrush in my mouth forever. I wish I could scream and throw things, but what good would that do? I'm getting tired of swallowing all of my pills, but what are my options? If I don't take them then I suffer in pain for a couple of day after. Sometimes my left side of my face feels like it was rubbed with sandpaper. And I wonder who stabbed me in the ear, when it hurts much more than I admit.
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