2011 Is Almost Over...wwwhheeeww!

A couple of more days until the end of this very long year! The holidays flew past so quickly, and now it's all over. I'm going down on the Gabapetin very quickly. Thank god M doesn't have school because I went down again on Tuesday and I can hardly move. I really don't know exactly if the medication had any great effects, but it's always hard to get off of something, anything.

I was supposed to go get my blood taken on Tuesday morning, then I tried again this morning. I'm really going to have to go tomorrow. I also have another check-in with my Health Coach. Then a couple of more weeks until we go back to Colorado for the appointments. I'm not really excited about anything, maybe because I don't have any energy.

Today Was J's Turn

This week has been very busy trying to get everything done and done right before the end of the year.

Yesterday M & I went to the Endodontist. Although it was just a consult they had really no idea about ATN. They call me back and shove this huge x-ray film in. I couldn't even tell her how my mouth doesn't like to open that far. She takes a couple of x-ray and then "blah, blah, blah the doctor will be right in." A shorter man comes in and looks at my front tooth asking if I feel this or that. No, No, YES!!! He agrees that I need to have my root canal re-done. Expected, and then starts asking if I'm sure I have ATN, who diagnosed me, what are my triggers. This man is unaware I'm thinking in my head. I tell him that I am nervous about getting a shot of Novocaine. He asked if that was a trigger, I told him I don't know, I haven't had to have any shots since. I just know that I need to get this done and then I don't have to come back and see this VEGAS Doctor again. I realized last night that the assistant must of cut the inside of my lip, GREAT, Just great!

J had off today and so we went to the eye doctor for him. I don't think he has had an eye exam in...longer than I've known him. We'll I thought it was funny (hee!hee!) that he needs a mild prescription for eye strain. The glasses he picked out make me smile.

Today was also day 5, and that meant that I needed to go down again on my Gabapentin. I started  at 1200mg and then went to 900mg, now I'm at 600mg, all in a week. Among the other things I feel tired and nauseous, my favorite feeling. I hope that I it goes away.

J's parents get in tonight so I hope that it's a wonderful Christmas. :)

Our Visit To The Vision Center

Today M and I had appointments to get our eyes checked. It was her turn first and the doctor had alot of patience with her. She was getting letters backwards and stuff. Poor her! They doctor suggested the we go and see a vision therapist. This might help her since she is doing so poorly in school. I have never heard of it before, but it's worth a shot.

My turn was next and other than my left eye needing a stronger prescription that was it. I scheduled J an appointment, since I know he wouldn't do it on his own.

I was still having pain from my teeth cleaning yesterday so I was not wanting to deal with the holiday traffic or anything. We had to get a few small things for J still and then we were back home. Pretty uneventful day.

What Happend To The Christmas Spirit?

    I'm having a hard time today. The past couple of days. I have been having death dreams again, except this time I'm the one killing. It's scary and I hate it! I'm changing my meds again- going down on the Gabapetin. Maybe this is what is causing it, but it's so horrifying! It doesn't feel as if I'm sleeping well and I want to break down in tears, but what can I do? The pain has been really bad too and after losing 6 pounds I'm gaining it back again.

    I made two appointments with specialists in Colorado and we will be going back at the end of January. It will be great to see family then too. I wish that B could come with us, but it's during school time and she can't miss that much.

    I got a package from my father yesterday and when J unwrapped it, it was for my 'lost' sister and her whatever he is. We planned to ship it back to him after the holidays and leave it at that. I got up this morning and my phone said that I missed a call from them in which they left a voice mail. It was asking for my email so they could send a card and B's address. I have had the same email address for 10 years, so it's just unbelievable to me. I have given them B's address quite a few times too.

    I have the 2nd part of my dental check-up appointment today. I wanted to call to cancel but figured I might as well get it over with while I'm not in screaming pain, that will happen after. Then on Thursday I have another appointment.  Endodontist who I want to take a look at a front tooth that I had a root canal done in 1997. After having a replacement crown done years ago the fill in missing out of the canal. So that I don't end up losing the tooth "Yikes, losing my front tooth" I'm going to have it looked at.

    I hope that for myself that I can get over having these bad dreams at night and is able to get a good night sleep.

    Every year I have always taken the time to send out cards. I send out close to 70 cards each year. It's the least one can do to let people know that we thought of them all year, I have lost some addresses throughout the years.:( I'm finding that this is a lost art, I don't know why many others have stopped doing this simple act of kindness at Christmas. But I am disappointed to only have received less than a 1/3 this year. In our home we also try to also write handwritten notes to thank other's for things that they have done for us. I guess with Facebook and email why write a personalized note? It's too hard to place a stamp on a note and place it in the out-going mail?

Does Anyone Think Before They Talk?

I had a appointment with my Neurologist today. That did not go how I wanted it to. The nurse walked in and asked what medication I was on. I said the only thing that changed was the pain medication. She said that since I didn't know what all I was taking last time they needed to write it down again. This is so stupid. Dr S.D. comes in and I explained how about the Tegretol XR issues. He just shrugged his shoulders like he didn't care. He says I don't have Trigeminal Neuralgia only Atypical Facial Pain because I the pain in my left arm and leg. The also said, "it's nothing serious like MS or a tumor". I felt like swinging my foot up from the table and into his face. He knows we are going to Colorado to see some other doctors and that he would work with then. I get my records and each one of them lists only a couple of medications each time. This is so inaccurate that I hope it isn't what they are basing anything on. I had tears in my eyes leaving. I will also be going to get another full blood work-up, and now with J's request I will be trying to go down on my Gabapentin.  

Rainy Day

Last week I went to the dentist. I wanted to go before the end of the year for my check up. I made it through the x-rays and the exam before I decided to stop. I bet you didn't even know you could do that, huh? Just tell them you are done and then leave? Well when you have ATN you get to do some things that others don't. Since then I have had skull and ear pain. That was Wednesday, and then Thursday I had an appointment with my Pain Specialist. We again discussed my pain medication and he said even though I only took 11 last month no wonder I was still in pain. I told him that I was afraid of what everyone says about getting addicted, driving under the influence, etc... He said that there is nothing to give me for the pain that I do have. He had some other points about not have aspirin, Tylenol nor Advil in it. Taking care of the pain is more important than not. I did what he said and I still had pain. Better or worse, I can't really say, but still preventing me from doing things.
 
I got my van back and so happy that all of the item were fixed. I am hoping to be able to get back to Colorado next month for some consult appointments. But it might be Feb. I was supposed to have an appointment with my Phyc Doc for my monthly check up on Friday. They called on Friday and rescheduled for today, and today they called and rescheduled for tomorrow. I don't know what their deal is but I didn't mind. Especially since I wasn't feeling good.

Tomorrow night was are all very excited to go and to see Disney's 'The Lion King'.

What a day, what a day

This week is one of those that you wished you would have pulled the covers over your head and never got out of bed. I had to take my van into the Dealership to get some work done on it. I dropped it off and the Rental Car Shuttle came to pick me up. They said they didn't have a car for me there and would give me a ride to another location where they had one. I get in the car with one of the rental agents, and we start our short scary ride there. This is a middle-aged man who drove like a 17 years old who stole a car. Screeching around the corners, blowing through stop sign. Then he went right through a RED LIGHT! Not yellow and then it turned it red, RED! We get to the other location and he gets the key. We walk to the car and he tells me we are in the ghetto and I better get out of her quickly. What?!? Why would you tell someone that? I got in the car and got out of there fast. The car had the weirdest stench, a mix between a cold smokers car and body odor. I didn't want to go back to the original location, so I went to another closer to home. The lady there was very nice and said as soon as she got a car I could change out. I dropped my car off at 9:30am and I finally got home at 2:00pm. I was in pain and the whole thing was ridiculous.

Around came another dental appointment. The Dental office I go to is so understand of my illness. I make it through xrays and the exam, but I could not do the cleaning the same day. I'm so happy that I do not go through with it. I had so much pain in my mouth today.

So my car was done and I dreaded going to the rental car place. I know the guy got in trouble for his driving and as soon as I walked in, there he was. I went around and 2 of the managers we there. They took care of all of my charges and drove me to the dealership themselves. I got my van and was so happy to have all of that mess done.

I had an appointment with my Pain Specialists today. I explained that I don't take the new pain medication very often in fear of safely driving with Madison in the car and becoming addicted. He said that there is nothing else that he could give me to take away the pain. So he suggested that I just keep taking the Oxyxodone.

Where Life Is Now

I often think its strange to image where life heads and how we got there. I have had a  lot of time on my hands this past year. Some goes by so quickly that I don't know where it went. Then there is the time I can't believe its' been a year. A year of pain! A person who has never experienced THE WORST PAIN IMAGINABLE can never comment about why it causes such a change in attitude. Why it causes such a change in life. I know that when J and I met we would have never thought our lives would be as it is now.  As Christmas nears a little girl in M's class reminded me that I have nothing to complain about. She told me that all she wanted for Christmas was a 'Tree'. I have a beautiful home, a wonderful husband what would do anything in the world for me, and such understanding family. I may have a rare disease and not the greatest health (lol), but the holiday's at our house will be warm and happy.