The past couple of days I have been so paranoid and anxious about everything. We are at the 3-4 week mark of some of the new medications actually starting to show it's effects. And I've been stepping down on another.
I will be taking to J and whispering. He'll be like why are you whispering? I'll say 'I don't want anyone to hear me.' Like who is going to hear me? I'm in the house. I wake up and something doesn't feel right? That's when my mind starts running, not just sprinting but full on bolt. I'm convinced 3 different teeth in my mouth are loose. I even could tell you which ones #8, 20 & 13. I'm nervous to call the dentist, because I think they are going to know that I'm the one who cancelled at the last minute on Friday. I worry about Everything I read in the news. The Government shut-down and Japan. Things I can't do anything about.
My neck hurts in 2 separate places, exactly where it would if someone was choking you. On the left side if I touch it, the pain goes all the way to my ear and my scalp. I think about S and I on our walk last night when we went past the abandoned freaky house. And that is just a sample of what my mind is doing to my smarts. I mean it's got to be the medication right? I see Dr. O.G. and Dr. L-G on Monday, so I wrote it down so that I can ask them.
I set my alarm for 2:20pm so that I'm not late to pick M up from school. My neck and ear were pounding so hard I could actually feel my teeth hitting against the ones' that I already thought were loose. So I laid down and woke up when my alarm went off. I saw that it was really windy outside and was going to need a hoodie to cover my ears. J had wanted me to drop off a box to a FedEx drop box when I took her to school. By the front door I remembered the box and my purse. Next thing I know I was out the door. That's all I remembered was the box and my purse. CRAP!! And why would I need keys to drive somewhere? Or a hoodie to keep the wind from my face. So I walked to the school. Picture this: I had the box and ever so fashionable coach bag and.....my blue 'Angry Birds' shirt that my friend got me walking to the elementary school. Well I got back in the house after getting a ride back home from S who unlocked the door and seems to save me from myself. I felt horrible and she said to plan on walking 'There are no sick days in walking'. After dinner I took Ibuprofen 800mg, so at 7:30ish armed with my pepper spray we went out to walk, for some exercise I need to get. The past 2 night my friend S and I have gone for a walk. Last night I was nauseous and went anyways and tonight my head/neck was causing much agony. I was proud of myself. Walking...it's a start right? I will be very happy to got to bed tonight.
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