Dreadful Dreams

   'Personal terror that haunts me in my dreams about a sibling. Why is she able to torment me in my dreams'. Those were the words I wrote on a piece of paper right as my eyes opened. I did this because I was so bothered by the events that took place.
   After writing I did the couple of things that I do after I wake up. Like most I check my phone for the usual morning emails. I found it odd that as I scanned through my daily thought, a part of it read: We singlemindedly search for love, for belonging, for affirmation from others that will wipe out the torment of alienation that haunts our wakefulness and our dreams. How crazy! J and I discussed my dream, it was all so real and I'm not sure why things and people that I haven't thought about in a very long time frequent my sleepy images.
    I'm now taking so many pills in the morning and each night that I cannot swallow them all at once. J said that if he took all of those it would kill him. Is this what is causing the disturbing chain of events I have each night? It's very frightening.
   I was able to go a see a movie with a friend today, but couldn't shake the feeling of sickness. It was humid, rainy and would have been a great day to do nothing.
   J was told that tomorrow the HR lady from the new company might be able to start working on relocation. As he applied and interviewed with various places he wanted to make sure any move we might make was easy on me. I couldn't ask for more. I do not have to pack, move or drive anywhere. All I have to do is decide where I want to live and get on a plane.