What do you say? How do you explain this to others? I don't want sympathy, I just want to explain to other's why there are days that I don't know how to handle the pain. I don't know how to handle any more bad health news. I want to stay in my quiet comfortable bedroom.
I've added Neurotin to the Tegretol as of this week. I know that I am not supposed to expect overnight results (something that has become my mantra). But I do not want other things to pop up.
On Friday morning I was awake early after a tough night. I wanted to pick up my results from the lab. I wanted to see for myself that I was not improving. I had the results in my hand and I was trembling. I wanted to rush home and check the past results. In February my triglycerides were 176, then in May 238, and now 312! 312! How is this, I have been taking the cholesterol medication. I was so upset. I called my grandma and cried to her. I knew it all of the medication that I take works against other things in my body.
On Tuesday, when I go to see Dr. R (general) I am taking control of my health. No more of this adding multiple medications. I know that I cannot and will not just stop taking all of the medication. Although some of it is poison, others I cannot live without. I have a list and even though this is only my second appointment with Dr. R, he will hear me. The last time I listened and went to physical therapy..we all know where that went. I want him to hear how I feel, what questions I have, what I expect.
I got a letter from the Social Security office here. After my lawyer submitted my appeal. I wish they knew my everyday. Can I sit 8 hours for a job? No. Can I file? If you didn't care what order things were put, otherwise no. Can I be reliable? No. I feel that by applying I'm just asking for something that I paid into. It's so sad that the crack heads and crooks have made it so hard for truly sick individuals to receive benefits.
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