Are You Kidding Me?

    It's been a tough week for me, and when I say WE, I mean J and M too. It seems as if when I have a hard day it rubs of on my family. :( I went to go see my GP the morning after the visit to the the Pain Management Doctor. Now I haven't really connected in the past 2 visits with him, but when he came in the room and said "You had me really worried..", that made  me feel like a person. He explained that my blood pressure was fine today. Either they misread my blood pressure or I was in alot of pain. I told him that I was in alot of pain yesterday. We talked about everything that has gone on since I was last in. He received everything I told him very well. And because I had to get to my appointment with yet another neurologist he got me out of there in time.
   
    As I started my trek way across LV, I kept telling myself to keep an open mind. I got lost getting there and why wouldn't I, I didn't print out a map. But I got there on time. It was in a nice neighborhood, but the office was old and nothing special about it. That was funny because the doctors with the nice offices don't do anything & the docs with just the basics seem to know what they are talking about. It took the usual time...forever...and an older man came in. He listened and asked questions, he felt that I would also have to go out of town for proper further treatment. He was partial to UCLA. We hit it off and he agreed to be my neurologist here. This was promising, he was even ok with me wanting to reduce my medications. I am going to start slowly by reducing my Amitriptylin by 1/2 a pill each day. As least it's something. Together we suggested that I get an updated MRI of my head and neck. Since I am starting to get pain in my arm.
 
   On my trip back across town to get M from school, I would pick up my records for Dr. B & Dr. T. They were very nice as always at Dr. B's office- quick in and out. Then since it was 2pm I headed towards Dr. T's office to finally see if they will give me my records. Or course they didn't have them ready. Then they gave me 3 pages, I asked for more, they gave me 2 more, then that kept going. I asked to speak with Dr. T., I had already been then for 40 minutes. She came to the window, I didn't know what to say, because I wasn't expecting it. I told her exactly how I felt. She kept going back to who said what. I just told her how heartbroken I was. I would have respected her if she told me herself how was at that end of the road in he knowledge. She said she didn't want to be responsible for changing any medication because she would have to follow up. Nice! She also told me that her nurse Y. was left go. I guess even though this went hard I got to tell her what I thought. I left in tears but I left without being ugly and getting across what I wanted to say.

    The next couple of days I was in so much pain. I took the pain medication as told, I actually think that made things worse. So I stopped. Something started to happen with my left arm, fingers and my left leg. The past 2 days I haven't been able to move my index finger. I have had it wrapped because moving it has hurt my entire arm and goes to my face. This is good that I am having my MRI on Tuesday. The pain in my face has been mild and it throws me off, why would you have pain in the arm and leg? I have been able to do things without my finger but cannot lift and turn to use my arm. I'm not happy and the pain gets to me. The pain radiates through my whole house.

   Stress increases the pain, and when my now 17 years old's father told me that they didn't know what else to get her for her birthday except a tattoo. Really? An iPod, new shoes, clothes, hair, nails...I could go on, but to use the excuse that he couldn't find anything else? I don't blame her because of course a teenager would want something like that, but parents are here to help make good decisions. And although I said "NO" it was done anyways. What do you say? I know when I was younger than that I didn't make the best decisions, but my parents had nothing to do and sure as hell didn't sign off on any of the things I did.  This not only make me angry but sad...what road is she going to be lead down?