Watch What You Say

    I got up this morning and..wow, I almost forgot. I got up and went to the doctor. That's where it all began.
    My feet, hands and face were swollen again My ear was throbbing from pain. Booo! I felt very tearful today let me start there. It seemed like the longest wait to get called back when I arrived. Dr. K.G. finally came in and started to address my reaction to the new medication. I proceeded to tell him how I was so sick of all of the medications and side effects with no REAL answers. As he handed me the box of tissue he stood up and awkwardly placed his hand on my sun brunt shoulder. He looked at me and said, "you've done everything you could, don't blame yourself." Are you kidding me? Why in this moment did I hate him so much? He seems so not concerned about the swelling and my thyroid medication. All focus was on my anxiety and that was making it worse. From there he began to tell me that I have taken on a lot of the past couple of months and it would be too much for anyone. I can't recall what was said exactly after that. Poor M was sitting there bored to death. Dr. K.G. wanted to get ahold of Dr. O.G. before I left. He wasn't able to do much more than leave a message. Next he suggested that maybe I needed to take some time and get some help in dealing with all of this from a mental health facility. He also said that we would worry about the thyroid and other stuff next week, we aren't ignoring it just putting it on hold. He kept going in and out of the room saying he was making calls. He came back and said he spoke with someone at the facility and I have an appointment at 6pm.
    I came home and felt like I took 5 steps backwards. I called my mom and she felt helpless, as did my m-i-l when I spoke with her later. J came home and M went over to S's house so that we could go for the 6pm assessment. Well we arrive promptly and filled out the necessary forms. We waited and waited, until 6:45 then I went up to the receptionist and asked what the wait time is. She tells me that it shouldn't be any more than 20 minutes. We sat there clock watching 7:00...7:15...7:30. At this point J and I had said we weren't going to wait past 7:45. Well at 7:55 I go back up and let her know we have now been sitting there for 2 hours and are going to leave. The receptionist calls to the back and someone comes out and calls my name. We are standing in the hall and she asks me why I want to leave, and if I wanted to reschedule. Jeff could feel my frustration and spoke up for me. We got home at 8:45pm and it felt as if the day was a waste.
    I don't know any other job where you can make as many mistakes as my doctors have and not lose your job. I'm so confused and angry.