New Horizons

Much of what I feel I write is sad and whooaa is me. I don't know how else to express my feelings, pain and questions that I have. But again I need to be thankful that I have choices in my medical care that others may not. I will not settle for less, I want someone to to 'sell me', why should I pick them to be my doctor. It seems as if we choose a doctor from a list and that's it. Why can't we speak up and say "Hell no, I'm not putting my life into your non-caring hands".

Today I met with the new Neurologist (Dr. T.), she was what I needed right now. She was knowledgeable and took an hour to meet with me. I understood, like she said that most of what I am going through is not a guarantee. I got up this morning in a very somber mood. I missed my friends and I can't wait to see me parents. J and I are not really meshing right now. That's hard! The first time in 7 years and we don't see eye to eye. S is only a phone call away, but it's not enough.

Dr. T made some suggestions; that if I'm in pain the current medication isn't working. True. She knew exactly what I was feeling and going though. She wants to see me in 2 more weeks. We spoke about the Gamma Knife Procedure, I told her that I in general I didn't feel comfortable with any of the surgery options. But the only place that I received information was from the John Hopkins Web-nair. She said we could take it slow and see what happens.

In March I applied for Social Security Disability and was denied in May. She asked me if I was going to appeal it and I guess that's a hint that I should look as that that as my possible future. (Worst Case)

I have another appointment with a new General Doctor tomorrow. And since I'm here in Vegas I can only put all of my money on hopping he is wonderful also.

I cannot say enough how much that I miss all of my friends back east. They were so much more than friends they were my family there.