The Red Robin Incident

   It's been crap over the past couple of months. That's the nicest word I can say. I have been taking Anti-Viral medication since the end of October. I have just a couple of more weeks of it. I don't know what to do after that. My I.D. (Infectious Disease) Doctor is a weird guy, as they all are. I need to make an appointment. I have an appointment with the Neurologist, I'm not sure why or what will be talked about. Hummmm.
   I was also given a huge dose of steroids from the I.D. Doc. It was too much, so coming down was like hell. I will call one time the 'Red Robin' incident. It was bad and it was because of  Roid Rage.
   Then there was the time I was in hospital, 2 times in six weeks. Once because I was having an allergic reaction. So that was just a ER visit. Then next time I was sitting in the living room and I started having chest pains. If I moved it hurt more. Within minutes J had his shoes and sweatshirt on, ready to go to the ER. I was screaming out in pain. They got me in right away and said I was not having a heart attack. That was good. We were there for almost 6 hours. They had no rooms, even for the the people in the ER waiting in the halls. I asked if they could transport me to another hospital, since I was needing to spend the night.
   I have an appointment with Dr. R tomorrow. I hope he can help, since he gave me some anti-biotics a couple of weeks ago, he said I had a fever and I wasn't getting enough oxygen.
   When someone says 'How are you feeling?', I wonder if they mean it. I feel like crap, I have to get through these days. I know that I have other much older family members that are on the verge of dying. They have lived their life fully and suffer at the very last. I feel very sad for their pain.  I haven't lived my full life and suffer.
   My eyes hurt and go blurry. I get nauseous and I'm tired all of the time. I don't enjoy too many things, I don't follow through and I have had thrush in my mouth forever. I wish I could scream and throw things, but what good would that do? I'm getting tired of swallowing all of my pills, but what are my options? If I don't take them then I suffer in pain for a couple of day after. Sometimes my left side of my face feels like it was rubbed with sandpaper. And I wonder who stabbed me in the ear, when it hurts much more than I admit.